i’m somebody too.
so many diffrent things bother me at once i think its reduculous.
i’m getting really bothered with someone i hold so dear and love so much. i ask one thing i say another and it never gets a proper responce. its so annoying.
i just want to sleep. its 5:29 am and i haven’t gotten one peep of sleep yet. my beds taken over by a few, kern and angie. && i really don’t want to deal with the hasle of rolling over and them cuddling so. not that i care cause i don’t. i just hate when people leave you out of the group you know. whatever. i mean whateverwhatever.
and then the whole jdank thing, at times it seems like i’m somes sort of a game a bet maybe. cause who randomly decideds they want there ex back in there life. i don’t understand, it’s like hey i’m going to call you out of the blue and then come stay the night the next night. && i don’t know what to do i am lonley as fuck. i miss him. but i don’t understand why he did this to me. he apoligied to me. he said he’ll never do this again.
and its like the break was the ONLY bad part in our reletionship besides the ……nevermind. haha.
and other then that he was amazing to me. a complete sweet heart. but i think i only want to be with him becuase i am so lonley and i just feel so bad about it cause i’m unsure. he’s not what i want. and that may only be because i have shut him out so epicly. but letting someone in whos hurt you so bad. is hard
can i trust you?
will you repeat to hurt me?
can i ever trust you?
do you really miss me?
Why me?
why me?
why am i so special.
he tells me bullshit like how were perfect for each other how he loves me. we’ve talked about this shit though. i told him. Now Jdank. I’m not stupid. I am not a stupid girl. I know what your doing. I’ve done this numerious times. I know what you want. What you need. He assures me that i will be ok. That we will be happy.
but is it ok to only beleive in someone because your so scared? because i am. I’m really sacared. alone. alone. alone.
i’m not used to this.
i have to big of a jealously problem to not be with someone of my own.
my birthday is in a few days!! woooooo! another year til death.
i’m not really that excited. i mean woo a day for maybe me? you know. I doubt it. its always surrouned by that one person. that bothers so bad.
my friends i’m not sure i can a friend anymore. i have like two that i want to keep close. cause everyone i get so close to just goes somewhere else. the more i make friends the less i have.
i hate this petty drama i deal with just to have someone to hang with. i’m fucking pethdic. i’ve delt with this so long ago. its annoying.
i’m done with this. most of the people i hold so dear.
i’m figuring it out.
someones watching me blog i’m done.
til later.
